November 7th- well 8th now!

I am sooo overdue for a post. I am sorry that for the last so many weeks you have only have a sad post about Grief to read. I want to tell you all that I am doing really well!! We have been so busy that I truly have a ton to update about. But first, I wanted to tell you that I got several text and phone calls last Thursday from friends just "checking in" because they were thinking about me. It was so nice!! I don't know if it was just random, because I have wonderful friends, or because they remembered that Nov. 4th would have been my due date for Leah...with way I really appreciated it!! It was a wonderful blessing to me when I was laying in bed about 11:45 pm and only then remembered what that day could have meant for our family had things been different. I guess I need to explain that carefully. I feel totally blessed because I know that Nov 4th could have been very difficult on so many levels. Instead I wasn't even sad. I didn't even remember. For me, I think this was so very healthy. I really know that the Lord has a wonderful way of healing our hearts, giving us hope, and helping us move forward. I have a dear friend that lost a baby a little over a month after we did. Her due date was last week, and I know it was a hard week for her. To her I say that it takes time. There is no time line for going through these difficult life experiences. Be patient with yourself!
Of course, I hardly go a day with out thinking about our little baby Leah- but I don't feel so sad anymore. I feel a great longing and definite anticipation for the day we will get to be with her again...but that just gives us something wonderful to look forward to- right? I am grateful that pain has been replaced by understanding and peace! Maybe our trip to Hawaii last week also helped heal my mind !! I think that could of very well had something to do with it!

Here are tonight's random midnight rantings:

Something new to add to my love/hate list: naps!! I love naps. I can't wait for mine
and Ella's nap time everyday. But I am totally developing a vicious cycle- nap in the afternoon = can't sleep at night = incoherent, unedited posts on this poor little blog of mine. I have to do something about this!

Also: I have a plea to anyone out there that: A. loves me enough to spoil me with something or B. feels like they have some un-returned (is that even a word?) favor they owe me... if there is anyone out there?
PLEASE GIVE ME A CUTE BLOG!! I don't need anything fancy therefore I am way too cheap to pay one of those blog design people. I just need something new bedsides this empty abyss of black. Some of you remember when I tried to change my blog layout last time and only ended up erasing all the important stuff...so you know I am not requesting this out of laziness but only because I'm totally worthless at this "techy" stuff!! The only request that I have is that the posting space can be wider- instead of one long column I want to be able to fit more that 6 words on a line- I just can't figure out how to do it. Please, please, please!! Anyone?