our own little miracle

I can honestly say I have been avoiding writing this post. I even made reference to this unwritten post weeks ago when I posted a picture of Ella, hoping it would get me to write it..it didn't work. I guess it is because the whole experience is so special, and so emotional for me, that I worried writing it down would in some way cheapen the experience. I know this is just not at all true. So I will write it down, and then I will start her baby book which I have been putting off for the same dumb reason.

On Feb 4th at 28 1/2 weeks I asked my doctor if I could have a 3D ultra sound "just for fun". I know they usually don't do ultrasounds this late unless there is some kind of concern, but a friend had told me how cool the pictures were so I thought I would ask. My doctor gave the ok and told me to just let the receptionist know to schedule it for the next appt. For some reason as I left the office that day I decided to wait and not have the ultrasound for a few more weeks..."maybe the picture would be better if she was a few more weeks along."

On my Feb 18th appt (about 31) weeks along the baby was sounding great, I was measuring fine and things were looking good! I decided I would have my ultrasound in 2 weeks and get a great picture. March 3rd came around quickly but the ulatrsound picture was a "dud." I only say this because the babies hands were in front of her face and she was all curled up. The tech couldn't even confirm she was a girl for us, much less get me a good shot of her face. So I was a little disappointed in my efforts to get my 3D pictures. When the Dr came in she said she wanted to repeat the ultrasound in 3 days. I said, "Oh good, cause we didn't get a very good picture" She had a different reason. She told me that my amniotic fluid looked low (not too low to worry yet, but she just wanted to be cautious) On Thursday, I went in for another "dud" ultrasound as far as pictures go, but my fluid was still low, so I was ordered to take it easy over the weekend and get lots of rest. I could do that!!

On Monday, March 10th I showed up for my appt ready to head right to work work with my lean cuisine in the car, still hoping to get a good shot of my little girl (or at least confirm that I could keep the pink polka dots I had painted in her nursery). Once again, no good shot. I asked the tech about the fluid since that was the real reason I was there for yet another ultrsound. It had dropped from 8 to 6. I had done a little reading over the weekend about low fluid and knew this wasn't good, but was not prepared for what my doctor had to say about it. "We are going to admit you to the hospital" I was shocked and told her I wasn't sure if I should laugh (out of surprise) or cry...she handed me a box of tissue... and thats when I really started to worry.

The next 24 hours went by in a whirl. At the hospital I was hooked up to monitors and IVs and told to stay in bed. They would repeat the ultrasound the next morning and there were 3 possible outcomes based on the result.

1. If the fluid went up to 7+ I would be sent home on bedrest.

2. If the fluid stayed at 5-6 I would be kept in the hospital on IV fluids and bedrest.
3. If the fluid dropped below 3 we would "bring the baby."

Needless to say, it was a long night.

The next morning I was rolled in for the long awaited ultrasound. This time I wasn't so interested in getting a good picture. I was now familiar with what the tech was looking for and knew when she had done the fluid measurements.
Of course I asked where the levels were.

2.6

I understand that in labor the difference between a 3 and a 7 is huge (I wouldn't really know yet,) but I can not tell you how much that difference made to me that morning.

I went back to my room with Jared... scared.

My doctor came in shortly and we talked about how at this point it really was better for the baby to be here, outside, than to remain in me with no fluid. She said that normally she would induce me but... Ella was breech. Apparently you can't try to turn a baby when there is low fluid, which makes sense...this baby was coming c-section.
Luckily I had already had breakfast which meant that I had 8 hours to process that even though my entire house was covered in an inch of sheet rock dust from construction, the nursery was not done, the crib not put together, I hadn't trained my replacement at work yet--in fact she hadn't even started yet, we hadn't picked a name for the baby, and we were currently living out of a suitcase in Jared's old room at his parents house.... I was having a baby at 5pm.

I guess I really wasn't prepared for the visit from the neonatologist either. It hadn't even occurred to me that because Ella (which we later named her) was a little more than 6 weeks premature she might not be ready to come right home with us. The Dr explained the things we might expect to see- immature lungs, lack of sucking reflex... all of these things I heard, but did not really grasp...I was just sure everything would get right back on track, despite how of course they had become.

I just didn't plan for things to happen this way.





Ella was born at 6:48 pm weighing 5 lbs 2 oz and 18'' long. I got one look at her and then she was swept away to the NICU where she spent the next month of her new, tiny life. The neonatologist we talked earlier that day explained that she called parents every day after she saw their baby. She saw the sickest ones first, so the "later she called the better."
The next morning I got a call from Dr Webb very early. During the night they had to put Ella on a ventilator to help her breath. She needed wound treatments on several of her skin folds because of skin breakdown (due to the low fluid) she needed a catheter because she wasn't urinating by herself, IV fluids and nutrition which meant 2 IVs in her head to start and later a PICC line in her arm (an IV that starts in the arm and goes up a close as possible to the heart) My baby was really sick. She had lost about 1/2 lb, which put her at 4 lbs 9 oz. Still a pretty good size preemie, but she just was immature. Her arms and legs were contracted which meant little baby therapy sessions everyday to stretch them out so she would have full range of motion, and she definitely had no sucking reflex, which would mean tube feedings.






I got to stay in the hospital with Ella until Saturday and then they sent me home. I spent the next 3 1/2 weeks driving back and forth to the hospital for my "visiting rights" I could hold Ella for 30 minutes every 4 hours. Those minutes were so precious to me. Ella got better and better each day, and before long the only tube she had was the little one in her nose which we fed her through. After 3 weeks she was moved to the intermediate nursery. She was really doing well now and we were kind of just waiting for that sucking reflex. I kept thinking "that's all she is there for... to learn to eat?" but I knew without that skill she would not survive with me at home. Ella finally got to come home with us on April 9th. She was just short of 1 month old and she weighed 6 lbs 11 oz.

Over the 4 weeks I spent going to see Ella I did a lot of reading and talking to the Doctors about the "what ifs" In general this is not a good idea... but it really helped me appreciate how truly blessed we are that little Ella is here. Oligohydramnios (low amniotic fluid) occurs in 2-5% of pregnancies depending on the cause. It can either be the baby (kidney funtion) or the mom's placenta that cause low fluid. In my case we are not sure. When it is not caught it can lead to serious complications. Dr Webb even said if we had not caught it when we did, because of how fast my fluid dropped and because Ella was breech it probably would have resulted in her being still born. I know that I was inspired to wait a few weeks to have that ultrasound. Up until then there would have been no reason to suspect that anything was wrong. Because she was breech, I probably would not have gone into labor. The baby needs the amniotic fluid to get oxygen. The fluid also keeps the organs and the umbilical cord from callapsing. There really is no reason to worry that this will happen in future pregnancies...I dont think i couldever handle it all again. I sure do appreciate the blessings of modern day medicine and for the blessings of answered prayers.
Our Ella really is our own little miracle.